Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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