worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
