like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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