from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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