ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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