Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

i take joy in having bigger boobs than others

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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(352): View more from Florida

Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.

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(850): View more from Florida

Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me

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(646): View more from New York

The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window

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