i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Liz is crying about burritos again.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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