Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
