oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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