he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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