Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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