508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
