what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We named our party play list daddy issues
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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