Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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