That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
