Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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