You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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