and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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