you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
