You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
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