I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
wanna go halves on a baby?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just pee around me
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
