can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
