I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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