If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
