I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
