shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
