I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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