I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize