You're my little dorito
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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