so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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