its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
