im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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