that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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