I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
