oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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