Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize