is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
