This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
