The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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