D3 body, D1 cock
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
