New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
