At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
