Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
