It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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