RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
