I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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