If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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