lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
