Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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