Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
not ubering you a puppy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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