I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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