i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
