says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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