OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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