It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
