despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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