we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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