he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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