it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
