Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
