my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
