I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
